Any way you slice it, she was write. Being a writer is all about being best friends with words. Anyone that wants to approach it as a profession has to approach it with the understanding that you will spend more time with words than with your family.
For me, it feels like entire worlds are just churning to get out. Every joke or errant comment gets saddled with so much back story it feels "best of" show in the late seasons of any sitcom. You know the episodes where the characters just recall some of their funnier moments which get shown to you again as though you weren't already a fan of the show. Yeah... that kind of back story every time I make a joke.
I was told today that I wouldn't be able to go to Full Sail University for a masters in Creative Writing because of some financial aid snafu. Since the university is weirdly accredited I was already pretty sure about the fact that my degree would be the least important part of the entire process. Still, the opportunity came at an almost serendipitous time. Truthfully, my life is in a bit of a shambles, and borrowing 50 thousand dollars to throw at the problem really makes me feel like I'm making progress. Of course, Jasmine with that wisdom that is so beyond her years just keeps talking to me about how I don't need school to be a writer. She says I need to write every day. I need to write my way through my problems. The funny thing is, I used to do that all the time 15 years ago. If I felt bad, I'd write. If I felt good, I'd write. If I had a great idea, I'd jot it down even if I was never going to look at it again. It didn't matter to me because they were all treasures and just needed some tweeking to really take shape.
As I've gotten older though, I see that I stopped using writing as my catharsis. I write for success or for a chance to be rich, but I'm not writing my story. I'm not making friends with the words that represent me the best, or portray my struggle with dignity. 29 year old burnout? Slacker? Never was? I'm not sure, but for almost 5 months I've been a broke transient just going on adventures. God, I love adventures... I took the summer off... from life. I just focused on getting to places and having fun when I got there and it was awesome. Of course, that led me to return to Austin with the understanding that I had something to prove. I had to make good with my legacy. I had to stick with my music and creativity and become a better writer as well as a better lover. However, I keep finding trouble under every rock. No sanctuary, no work, no money, no driving legally, and no confidence in my writing... Is that why I haven't really put anything new out? I'm so scared.
Still... Jasmine was right, so here I am. I don't need a fancy school to become an incredible writer. I just need to become best friends with my words and better acquainted with my story. Regardless of what happens with Full Sail, this is gonna work. Thank you
